


Duck (auto correct is annoying)

by AlexanderixTayra13



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crow appreciation, Crows, Diary/Journal, F/F, Gay, Gen, How many curse words can I fit in a sentence?, Original Character(s), Salt, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Werewolves, main character is just done, writer doesn't know what they are doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23589400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderixTayra13/pseuds/AlexanderixTayra13
Summary: Crows distracted me from realizing I should have spent a couple of weeks achieving peak hobit life.A mess of a journal (yes its a journal, I ain't calling it a ******* Dairy) written by a done teen.
Kudos: 1





	Duck (auto correct is annoying)

**Author's Note:**

> This is original work, with inspiration from other stories I've read. Also, this is garbage. This is for laughs. So please enjoy it.

Dear the mess of a journal my therapist calls a diary,  
This week has been shit.  
Yeah, you fuckers reading this didn’t expect this shitty ass writer to start off with a bland fucking sentence. Or maybe you little shits did, this writer is generic as shit.  
Fuck, I got off track. Anyway, when your weeks start with your friend telling you some weird-ass shit is happening in town, I suggest you don’t ignore this blatant signal to fulfill your hobit dreams and hole yourself up in your room with a couple creates of sprite and 20 boxes of that spicy Chef oh Brooooooli for a few weeks. But nope, this dumb ass was to busy cooing over all those beautiful crows, so many beautiful crows, all just murdering around. Those beautiful goth bastards.  
Wait, shit. So I hadn’t felt those stupid signs to run, instead, I went to school like every other weekday. I mean I’m a weak ass bitch who turns into a wet napkin the instant an authoritative adult looks disappointed at me, so I wouldn’t have missed school anyway (I ain’t going to fuck with my mum).  
So here I am, going through the normal school day (trying to fight my instincts to not drown myself in so noice smut fics) when this little shit transfer student (soooooo original) comes in at the middle of the day, which I find a fucking stupid cause like your just making yourself more disappointed by holding out and giving yourself time to prepare (High School boring and tedious, doesn’t get any better by fucking waiting). Though now that I think about it he could have had a valid reason, eh, this guy is shit so I’m just going to be salty.  
Oh, don’t insult this random transfer student you say? The fuck this kid ever do to you? I’ll tell you why I got a petty ass bone to pick with this fucker. This fucker is a shitty ass vampire that on the first day full out drooled over me. And I don’t mean he found me attractive, I mean I had to it next to this fuck and the first thing he does is ‘discreetly’ lean in close and sniff like a dog, which leads to him full out drooling on my sleeve, fucking gross (fuckers saliva stained a perfectly good jacket). Then he suddenly snaps at me saying I stink and acts like he wasn’t eyeing me up like a T-Bone stack. Fuck you, you little bastard, I smell fucking brilliant with all the fancy lotions and soaps my mum has stocked in her bathroom.  
So this little shit was all grumpy at me, and I was fine you brat, and ignore the bastard, cause I ain’t dealing with this fucker weird-ass kinks. And I thought that was that, asked the teacher to move me, cause I couldn’t see the board (I actually did need to move, but I’m weak shit that tries to act like tough shit and pretends I can see those blurry little lines from the back of the classroom. Little fucker gave me enough reason to finally put on my mature bow tie and ask). And pretending like he doesn’t exist, which is my specialty seeing as I still don’t know anyone else’s name in my class, and I’ve been in the same class group for four years. Ok, yes I’m a bastard, won’t deny, don’t listen to my friends that say otherwise, they get the nicer bastard version of me.  
Oh right, my week. So all these random fucking things start happening, giant ass trees suddenly ripped out of the ground without any reason, a pack of large dogs suddenly formed and chase people around the streets, a lot of kids start looking sicker and are fainting all over the place, and of course, the sudden occurrence of new families of hot shits (one of them are the fucking transfer’s family, got to admit his sister is decently nice and cute though).  
Anyways, I have a fucking tree fall on my shitty ass car. I mean yes it was almost dead anyway, but that was my first shitty car and had put a lot of work into it. So I was pissed and should have been dead if the tree at token a millisecond faster to fall, instead, I just got a concussion from the impact. So now I don’t have a car anymore and need to ride my bike home from school, which is fine. But bastard decides to be creepy and offer to drive me to school, by pulling up to my house as I’m about to leave (this fucker who scoffed at me and is a STRANGER), yeah no, I just zoomed out of there cause if that ain’t kidnapping vibes I don’t know what is.  
And then, cause I had to travel by bike, I get to take the fun way home through the dirt paths in the forest, which if I wasn’t apparently living in a fucking murder mystery would have been perfectly safe. But, nope. Murder mystery life yall, so as I’m heading home this Friday when, I suddenly find myself slamming into a fucking person that decided to run out from the middle of the woods and not listen to my jingly ass bell that says yo, biker coming. Now my bike is totaled, great, and I got a fucking werewolf (in human form) circling around the bottom of my safe and nice tree that I have no clue how I got in. And the icing on the top, the fucking werewolf keeps calling me a leech lover, cause oh did I forget to mention. Vampire boy on Wednesday suddenly decided I’m desirable, cause I quote “you don’t act like the other girls”, well you piece of shit that’s cause I’m not like the other girls; I’m nonbinary you piece of shit, only like girls, and ACE. Which means that stupid thrall you have has no effect on me. So fuck you and your inability to accept no and your constant stalking and staring. If it wasn’t for your sister being all cute and shit and asked me to play nice I would have taken a bat to your knees.  
Oh, and for those asking how I know this fucker is a vampire and the one circling my nice friendly tree is a werewolf. My brother is a witch and I stole his witch homework all the time, can I do magic? No, but I sure can fucking teach it and know how to identify other supernatural creatures. Yeah, I’m a fucking badass, able to learn enough witch stuff that I was able to ‘accidentally’ get a teaching license for it without being able to do a lick of magic. I so earned that 100 bucks my brother had to give for that bet.  
Ok, enough gloating, back to the werewolf. I’ve been stuck in this tree for about four hours, and he is still here, just glaring at me. If he doesn’t leave soon I’m going to piss on him, cause I really got to go. Anyway, that’s enough writing for this week, if I don’t write another entry guess that means I died up in this beautiful tree. Holy shit! There are more crows, oh my beautiful babies, fly my beauties and I can die happy now.  
Signing off,  
Lex

P.S. I now owe brother 20 bucks and a pack of Mountain Dew, I need a fucking job

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. I don't have any plans for this. I'll take suggestions. Thanks for reading and if you want, put your opinion at the end and questions, If I decided to write more I might incorporate your comments and questions into the next chapter.


End file.
